I dreamed of work. Not in a good or bad way, more as an alternative to what-is. I woke in the early-morning light, thinking, “Again?”
Be aware that if you make a major change, this will happen. The other will come calling when you least expect it. The decision not made.
I know why I dreamed of work this time. I ran into someone I know from that sphere — something that happens fairly often. I enjoyed our conversation. Now my subconscious is spinning, assessing the weight of different platters and decisions like items on a restaurant menu. Artichokes or linguine. Sushi or Thai curry. Neither better or worse, just different choices.
This dream wasn’t driven by dissatisfaction. I had an immensely successful week. I presented my first software to spontaneous applause and a flurry of questions, once to peers and once at a popular meetup. It was the reaction I’d hoped for and imagined. There is something there. I’ll keep working on it. I’m making progress and learning.
Who knows how the brain works. Maybe that was the trigger, the achievement of something, even if it’s a first something. I don’t feel as if I’m done with my sabbatical. But sometimes the decision not made drifts up at odd times, on a gray morning during a holiday weekend that doesn’t mean anything because holidays are irrelevant now. Maybe that’s it.
Regardless, I slept eight hours, and now it’s time for breakfast, code and laundry.