Tag Archive: breather

The Day After the Carnival

I’m relaxed after a day at the dentist and a dose of Benadryl. This isn’t usually what I think of as relaxing.

Maybe because I’m coming to the end of Hacker School in a few weeks, maybe because I have a lot of work ahead of me and I’m excited about it, maybe because I’ve been thinking and coding and reading and writing nonstop since late July, but my brain is taking a breather.

I really want to pick up that JavaScript book. The one next to me on the table. But I listen to music my roommate is playing and put my head on my knees and smile and close my eyes.

I ate a bowl of pasta with olive oil, butter, garlic, tomatoes and Parmesan cheese. Perfect comfort food. My tooth doesn’t hurt. Giant relief. I can’t wait to go to bed, for once.

I look back at last spring and it seems like a different life. The space between now and then is well-trodden, like a field the day after a carnival. Walked on, laughed on, played on. Now I just want to walk forward. Or run.

That’s how I feel — like I’m running to do as much as possible, see all the sights and do all the things and be productive and valuable and make this the right decision. It’s a whirl and I love it. I’m never sure what to think. Just: Do as much as possible. Do as many things that scare me as possible. Make the most of this time. Enjoy life along the way.

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